First and foremost, spouses need to decide if you are able and willing to make decisions jointly or if you need the assistance of a third party. If you are able to make decisions jointly, even if with a third party, you can do so without the court’s intervention.

It’s important to create the right plan for your family – one that serves not only you and your partner – but most importantly the well-being of your children. An attorney and/or a mental health professional can help guide the way.

Please note: If you find yourself in a life-threatening emergency, we recommend you seek immediate help. Find assistance at mentalhealth.gov/get-help/immediate-help. If the situation is life-threatening, contact emergency assistance 24/7 by calling 911.

Parents and families who are unable to make decisions on their own may ask the courts to make decisions for them and for their children.

Individuals should contact an attorney for legal advice and information. Eisen Blackstone Group’s family transition counselors can share experience-based information, coaching, and mediation; only attorneys can provide legal advice.

While utilizing an attorney is the traditional path to reorganize a family’s structure, parents can seek the help of Eisen Blackstone Group’s family transition counselors to create a memorandum of understanding between parents. This mutually-agreed-upon document (memorandum of understanding) can be turned into a legally binding document by the court, either on your own or with the assistance of an attorney.

Parents need to reassure their children that they will continue to take care of them and love them no matter what. Help preserve your child’s development and don’t allow family crisis to interrupt and destroy. Parents must commit to working together in a cooperative adult, business-like manner in order for the kids to get through the transition in the least disruptive way.

Children’s needs change as they continue to grow and develop into young adults. Can you as adults be available to meet the constantly changing needs of your growing child?

Remember, abnormal behavior in children can appear to be normal at times. The concern is if abnormal behavior continues for a long time or if it disrupts your child’s functioning.

Children who witness aggressive and violent conflict in their families are at a higher risk for all negative behaviors including aggression, depression, addiction, eating disorders, regressive behaviors, performance and behavior problems in school, and mental health problems.

Children sometimes feel responsible and angry towards their families regarding the divorce. They often can tell an objective, trained professional, things they would not tell a family…someone that is not part of their crisis.

Parents needs to be aware of three specific factors in determining their child’s risk for developing emotional difficulties with this family transition:

1. the duration of the behavior;
2. the intensity of the behavior;
3. and the extent to which the behavior interferes in the child’s life.

Children who show extremes in their emotional responses are also at risk.

In mediation, a mediator is hired to help both parents identify, negotiate and come to a mutually-acceptable agreement on various issues and financial matters required to end their marriage out of court. Family mediation gives both parents a sense of empowerment and control in their outcome. By mediating a thoughtful and child-oriented parenting plan with clear obligations and responsibilities, you lessen the possibility of parents arguing back and forth over unclear issues.
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In the collaborative process, professionals are working collaboratively and cooperatively to assist their clients to resolve the issues related to separation and divorce out of court. Collaborative professionals may include lawyers, financial specialists, counselors, social workers, psychologists, and mediators, working together as a team to assist clients to resolve their disputes. In collaborative divorce, or co-mediation, two mediators, typically one mental health professional and one attorney, work together to assist parents in the emotional and legal aspects of a family transition.

Co-mediation occurs when two mediators, typically one mental health professional and one attorney, work together to assist parents in the emotional and legal aspects of a family transition.

During co-mediation, the mental health professional will focus on the well-being of the family during the transition, while the legal professional provides information on the legal aspects of this change. Together, these services help parents make decisions for the best outcome of the family and controls the decision-making process, rather than handing that over to the courts to decide.

If you and your attorney are choosing to litigate, you may be advised that you need a custody evaluator. What is important to remember and often neglected is that it is not only about the parent’s personalities, but whether or not these two parents have the capacity to negotiate their differences when living in two homes.